I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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