She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
