My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of j�ger and an empty bed here Friday.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
