my sisters under your porch take her home
It's just like the Real World with babies
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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