guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
