I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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