i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
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