States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
