I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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