she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
