I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
