I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
