I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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