just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
