I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
