Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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