Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
