Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
