remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
