why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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