ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
pray to the hookup gods
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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