I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
