Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Go christen that room with your naked body.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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