I love black thongs
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
