Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
