Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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