they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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