i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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