theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
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