im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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