one might say we're banned from that church
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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