im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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