I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
