Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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