in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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