I need help removing her.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
