we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
