My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
