If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
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