Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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