last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
