nut hugger
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
