so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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