This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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