Duck Duck Cougar?
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
