I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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