White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Randomize
