so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
