it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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