so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
my poor anus
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
